Swiss Fact Page

The Swiss are a self proclaimed "peaceful, landlocked mountain people good at banking"

Famous Swiss include Victor Frankenstein (aka Dr. Frankenstein), Martina Hingis, Ursula Andress and William Tell.
Sadly, no Swiss individual will ever be as famous as their cheese, their watches or even their army knives

The Swiss Flag really is stupid and bland, but somehow all of their sizable neighbors (Germany, France, Italy and Austria, all real countries, unlike the two buildings called Liechtenstein) managed to pick even more stupid and bland tricolor flags. Would it have been so hard to hire the geniuses that designed the Spanish, South Korean or Libyan flags? If interested, our resident flag expert has prepared a more detailed cross-flag comparison.

Swiss people tend to be good skiers and bobsledders, but rank among the most pathetic sailors and fighter pilots in the world

The Swiss have four official languages: German, French, Italian, and something they call "Romansch." No living person outside of Switzerland has ever heard this mythical romance language, and linguistic experts believe it to be the biggest hoax outside of Roman Cechmanek's 2000-2001 season.

Despite their boring cheese and prominent role in the worst non-Roger Moore James Bond movie ("On Her Majesty's Secret Service"), Switzerland managed to rank 12th on the first annual EuroTrash.com European List of Cool.

Swiss individuals tend to be less friendly than llamas, but significantly more sociable than Mama Cass.

Are you Swiss? Take the Swiss Genetic Compatibility Test to determine whether you contain Swiss genes somewhere deep within.