Austria

Land of Violence, Hatred, and Irrational Germanic Peoples

Never go to Vienna. It really sucks.

Austria didn't get too much better. Turns out they love their native son, the Governator. After one too many of my jokes started with the words "Arnold's such a jackass," an angry mob formed. Just like in an old Frankenstein movie.

If it wasn't for a well-timed sale on chocolates and bratwurst, I might not have ever left Vienna.

The thing you have to look out for is the big spoons. They have spoons as big as axes and twice as painful.