Llamas

The next best hope for man on earth?

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I love llamas.
They smell much better than yaks.
If McDonalds or Jack in the Box ever made burgers out of llamas, I would boycot their business.
Except for a rogue group of evil llamas, llamas hate the sport of soccer.

Llamas live in the Andes. Chileans and Bolivians also live in the Andes.
However, I don't like Chileans or Bolivians because they smell like yaks and play soccer all the time. As a side note, I'm also done linking to stupid unrelated sites. So, quit your complaining.

The llama, unlike other high elevation animals like the marmot or the Dalai Lama (no relation), is not at all communist. In fact, I once owned an anarchist llama that would eat pictures of Josef Stalin and Fidel Castro.

The best thing of all about llamas, is that you can train them to swim
You can't train those ugly long-tongued giraffes to swim.

Apparently, some people use llamas as guard animals for livestock or as golf caddies. I don't know which one is weirder. Regardless, they're both wrong. Common sense tells you that those jobs are more suited for golf carts and angry midgets with sticks, respectively. If you find a llama owner abusing his animal like this, please shoot him immediately. Just imagine the evil actions someone like that is capable of performing.

As members of the camel family, llamas have three stomachs and two toes per foot. If I had more stomachs than toes on any given foot, I would probably just gnaw off the damn foot. Seriously, some things are just wrong and go against the entire order of things. For instance, Wyoming is one of those things.

Sadly, there's not enough research done on llamas to tell me whether or not they sniff each other's asses like dogs. This is important information, yet everyone completely ignores the subject. Get off your moral high chair people, the potential for inter-llama ass sniffing is something that needs to be discussed.